Thursday, October 10, 2013

2 years on..

Yes, it has been 2 years although it feels as fresh as yesterday. 2 years ago today, I was told at my 20 week ultrasound that my baby girl had no heart beat. It is something I documented very openly here on my blog and you can find it under October , 2011 archives on the right hand side of my blog. 

This is a canvas that I made for me. No Design team work, no expectation .. just me. I wanted to express my thoughts about today and how I just cannot let it go yet. I hope I can paint over the "can't" one day and replace it with "I finally let it go" .. But I am not there yet..


I wanted to use the lovely stamps I have from Wiff Of Joy called Spirit of Nature designed by  Stephanie Schutze because I wanted to make the 2 different butterflies look at each other. Doesn't it look like a mum and her child? When you look at this.. can you tell how hard it is for a mum to have to let go of her baby..?? I can. 



I cannot get into the details of how I created this too much. I do not wish to treat it like any other creation but I thoroughly enjoyed using some gorgeous new colours from Lindy's Stamp Gang mists and embossing powders by Limor Webber caller Industrial Chic, together with some yellow Silks Glaze to contrast the colours and I do really want to create another one like this. So I am thinking I might do a video tutorial in the near future . 

Thank you all for letting me share . 
May you have a blessed day and I hope you are happy wherever you are . 

I just want to leave you with this quote from one of the greats from Greek Ancient history, Plato...


He knew what he was talking about.. trust me. 


25 comments:

  1. Какая чудесная и пронизанная болью и надеждой работа.... Прочла пост 2011 года. Я сочувствую Вам и искренне желаю, чтоб в Вашем сердце поселился покой вместо печали.

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  2. Ο καμβάς ειναι υπέροχος!
    Ξέρεις κάτι; Ο πόνος δεν περνάει ποτε ούτε και η ανάμνηση. Το γεγονός οτι κάναμε παιδια δεν αναιρεί αυτα που χάσαμε. Απλα ο πόνος μένει ίδιος ενώ οι χαρές που παίρνουμε απο τα παιδια μας πολλαπλασιάζονται μερα με τη μερα. Γιαυτο και αντέχουμε να ζούμε με αισιοδοξία και κουράγιο. Κάποιες μέρες ειναι δύσκολες και ο πόνος ξετρυπώνει πιο έντονος. Δεν πειραζει, ειναι μέρος του παιχνιδιού. Ειναι η ανάμνηση του παιδιου μας. Και ειναι καλο τελικα. Δεν ξέρω εάν στο εξηγώ σωστα. Παντα θα πονάει αλλα πια ειναι μέρος του εαυτού μου και της ζωής μου. Αν είχα τη μπεμπα δε θα είχα τα αγορια μου. Ενώ τωρα τα αντρακια μου θα έχουν παντα το φύλακα αγγελο τους... Σου στέλνω αγκαλιές πολλές!!!

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  3. Nadia, I am so with you, I suffered almost the same in 2009. It is so hard and I can not forget it. When you know that almost a half of the way has passed you have to let it go - horrible situation.
    You butterflies there are outstanding. Great inspiration and reminding about our lives.

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss Nadia. The canvas you created is a beautiful piece of art. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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  5. hi, I am very sorry for your pain and loss...{{{hugs}}}...your expression of feelings on the canvas are beautiful! The day you let it go may that expression be even more beautiful....I want to leave you with this quote, it is very near and dear to my heart!

    "There is nothing, no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has come past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose."
    Alan Redpath

    hugs *~*

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  6. Just leaving you a Hug Nadia...

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  7. A beautiful canvas Nadia....there is no set time for grieving....it takes as long is it needs to....

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  8. I immediately became choked up when I set my eyes on the two butterflies. Your canvas is beautifully touching. I can feel the difficulty of trying to let go when I look at it. My thoughts are with you today, Nadia.

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  9. This is so beautiful Nadia. I just can't imagine what it would feel like for a mother to try to let go of her baby. I do know though, that I'm struggling to let go of my mother, although that is meant to be the natural progression of things. I find that it helps to incorporate my feelings about her into my creations. Big hugs for you lovely.x

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  10. absolutely no time frame on heartache/heartbrake. Just beautiful and cathartic....True Art is never about all the happy moments. You were brave to keep sharing :)

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  11. Oh Nadia, this has got to be one of your all time personal best pieces. It's spectacular! What a wonderful way to work through your emotions.

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  12. WOW! 2 years already... Your Canvas is TRULY Beautiful!!!! x♥x♥

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  13. Oh wow Nadia, this is just beautiful and I love the two butterflies....and yes maybe, just maybe, one day you can let it go but if you can't, then that's just fine. No one can ever expect or ask you to forget. Take care today and give your precious girls an extra cuddle xx

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  14. Wonderful piece of true art, Nadia. This little one will always be a part of you. Hopefully, the pain of her loss will lessen in time but she will always be your baby girl. Hugs!

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  15. Nadia I wishi could reach out and hug you right now! Tis pain you feel is very close and near and dear to my own heart! I too know how this feels!

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  16. This is so so beautiful, I love the texture and the colors and the coloring of the butterflies is just awesome! It touched my heart also the story behind! Sometimes life has its own rules and sometimes how it comes it is right. I can feel this healing process. Big hugs to you! Stephanie

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  17. 2 years... time has just kept going by, and yet when you lose something so precious time also stands still at the moment of sadness.. You are brave, you are strong Nadia and thank you for sharing this chapter here where you have brought all of us to tears with your story.. for some they nod and can relate, for others we feel our hearts breaking a little because we are mums who just feel with our hearts the beating and pain of other mums... Your canvas is just an expression and it is beautiful.. and yes I can see the butterflies together.. only in your time can you say you CAN let go, but personally I reckon you will hold your angel girl as closely as you can in your heart until you see her again in Heaven where I believe you will know her without even having to ask God who she is...and then you will also know the reason why she didn't stay on earth with you..and it wont matter then.... Blessings and hugs... xx lizzy

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  18. Oh Nadia it's so sad ....and so hard! I hope sometime you can let it go.... i just want to hug you....Be strong hun!

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  19. My goodness has two years really passed since you told us. xxxx

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  20. Gorgeous canvas - love the symbolism of the butterflies & the layering up you've done......& I'm soooo glad you have Sophie now to cuddle!!!!!!!

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  21. A wonderful canvas Nadia! My English is not so good but hope you'll understand. Everything what is happened in our life - for something reason- to make us more strong, or to make of thinking about something and sometimes it is difficult to understand- why? And may be you ask God- why You let this in my life!? But try to attend and try to not blame Him. Be strong! And be happy and thaked for everything. I know one woman who lost her child on the last week of pregnant- and she was upset so many years and this year she is a mother of wonderful boy! 7 years she was waiting this moment! I can't give you the right advice -just wish you to be strong and let think that this small Angel ( your daughter) safeguared you from the sky!

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  22. I remember reading through those posts two years ago and my heart wept for you. To lose a child is something you will never forget I don't think. There will always be that ache but in time you will be able to look back with a little more ease when you remember and know that she has wings and is watching over her sisters and you with great love, the same love you gave her while you carried her. Your canvas is stunning! It expresses everything perfectly. Thinking of you today with a prayer. All the best.

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  23. You are so strong and brave to share your deep feelings and I really hope your heart can find peace one day - my heart still breaks for you.

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  24. Ah Nads... I think that is one of the things that you never really get over in life but I do think that you can find a way to live with it day to day. Having miscarried as well (although not as far as that) I get how you feel and I agree with Helen there is no time limit to grief. You just have to deal with it in your own way and in your own time. I love that you feel safe enough to share this though. Big hugs special lady.

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