Hallelujah...

Hi everybody. Just feel like saying hello to you all...to tell you that I am OK and all is going well.

Almost school holidays here in Sydney and cannot wait to have a couple of stress free weeks. 

Just wanted to share with you all this song..Its a remake and its called "Hallelujah" and no matter what religious denomination you belong to, you will find this very very touching. Hallelujah is a Hebrew word meaning "God be Praised" but I think most religions use it in their psalms or sermons, including my own , Greek Orthodox. 

I dont know if I have told you before as it is something that I keep to my self, but I have a very very deep belief and faith in God. I always have had, but many years back when my 22 year old cousin passed away, my faith became stronger as I was looking for answers. It was the first death I ever had to deal with and I just didnt understand why such a loving God would take away someone so young and precious. Anyway, my faith and understanding of His word became deeper and stronger in the years that followed. For me, everything good in my life has been given to me by Him. I do not believe in chances...I believe in Him. Everything I have ever asked for, God has answered. Always. He has always been with me. 

But to my shame, I have to admit I have lost my way in the last  couple of years. Even though my faith is as strong as ever, I dont go to Church as much, I dont stick by my own person religious rules as much, I dont read as much scripture. Anyway...I have been listening to this song all day , everyday the last few days..It is almost psalm sounding and there is something so magical about it. 

 I miss going to church, I miss that inner calmness and serenity I get from the scent of the burning candles, the icons, the silence, the gospels. I need to go back to my roots . I need to rediscover all that is dear to me. 

So if you have a few minutes, here is the link to listen to this beautiful song. The first minute is all music but then the words start soon after. 

Thank you all for everything always. Thank you! 

To all of you out there..Hallelujah my friends. 

Incredible!...

...that is the only word I can think of when I try to describe how it feels to receive 87 warm and well wishing comments in my previous post. I am so so so so lucky to have the best followers out there in blogland. Believe me when I tell you that I feel your positive vibe and its carrying me through. I know I am repeating my self but again THANK YOU! You are all such kind and lovely people. 

So I am sorry I have nothing scrap related. I really still have zero interest. Its amazing to me. I just cannot believe how I have totally turned against scrapping. I have some really beautiful kits that I really wanted to play with...I took one out all over the dining table. Got really excited for a couple of days, and ...it remained unfinished on the table for about a week, at which point I had to pack everything up as we had visitors over. I packed everything away. I mean ...really away. In boxes and covered everything with sheets. I am sorry to say that it will be a VERY long time before I scrap again, if ever. And amazingly that does not make me sad at all. Weird huh?  I know this is a scrapbooking blog, but I hope to maybe make it more of a personal blog until you guys tire of me and I shut it down. I think I have reached a non-scrapping personal level with so many of you, that I wish to pop in here every now and then and tell you how I am going and I want to still read you encouraging comments. They truly mean so much to me. 

I have even started visiting some peoples blogs and still staying in touch with all of you. But ...actual scrapping is not on the horizons at the moment. 

In other news, I just wanted to let you all know that I am now 15 weeks along and things seem to be progressing nicely. I am praying every single night and day. Out of all my pregnancies, this one seems the most surreal to me. I just want everything to be OK. I just want to hold this baby...I just want to see it and hold it. I want to drown in that intoxicating newborn scent. I am just so hesitant to be happy still. But really, who am I fooling? I already love this child. I really just want this baby so so much. 

Now that I am over the first trimester and feeling much better, I am even contemplating a 4th baby. LOL! I just love LOVE children. I have often thought of my life before the kids. Oh how nice it was to sleep in, wake up at my own time rather than 6:00am screams of "where is my dummmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy???", stumble out of bed and bump my hip on the bed and curse. Oh yeah...those were the days. LOL! 10 years ago we did a European trip. Went to most major European countries. I was thinking of that the other day. It was the first time that for a moment, I liked my life then better. Young, carefree..But I am quickly reminded by these 2 little people I have in my life already, how my life actually started at 28 years old, when I had my first daughter. Even though I gave birth to her, she is the one that gave me life. Before her, my life was just ordinary.  Who was I really? Someone's wife, someone's daughter, sister ...a teacher ...and what was I really good at? What did I excel at? What could I say for my self? . I went for almost 3 decades feeling as though I was not really good at one thing. I was good at lots of little things but not overly impressive at one major thing.  Then I became a mum. And that was what I was REALLY good at. I found the one thing I am actually really good at. Motherhood just became so natural to me. From day 1 I just knew what to do. I never doubted my self and was confident. I was finally really good at something. My life then doubled in joy when I had my second girl, and right now I am over the moon that I am carrying this third baby. I LOVE children so very much. I know that if I could not have kids I would be the most unhappy and depressed person in the entire universe. I would adopt or try IVF or whatever. I would just have kids. I could NOT live a life without children...

Anyway! Getting philosophical yet again. Its just that I have been doing lots of thinking lately since I dont have a hobby. That holiday I told you earlier , 10 years ago, has been playing on my mind. Why? Because we were in my homeland Greece, on September 11th 2001, and I have never been able to believe what my eyes saw on the TV screens during those terrorist attacks. My life change that day..or maybe my way of thinking changed. I grew up in one night. I have never been able to let go of that fear that I felt that day. Since then, we have not been on any holidays other than some within New South Wales, I try and avoid going to high standing buildings, I detest the city..If September 11th had not happened I would have been different. And I am ashamed to admit this as it is a win for the terrorists. But those events play on my mind constantly. With the 10 year anniversary this Sunday, I am have been more concious of it all. I have been hooked on all the documentaries about the hero's , the dead, the people left behind. Just thinking thinking thinking that it could have been anyone one of us on that day. But it wasnt right? But it could still be one of us any day in the future. 

Anyway. Sorry for the long post..just sharing my thoughts. Take good care everyone. Nothing is more important than health. Thank you so much for all your wishes. Thank you. 

Bye for now.